I wrote this on Thursday, but didn’t remember to post it before I left town for business travel.

One of the people who showed me that I can make a real, powerful difference in the world was murdered Wednesday, in her home in Washington DC.

Wanda Alston was the Director for Gay and Lesbian Community Affairs in Washington, DC, and a member of Mayor Williams’ cabinet. She was found, dead, in her home last night. Her partner Stacey found her. Stacey was a friend of mine at the University of Wisconsin Law School.

Shortly after Jill and I had our wedding, we registered as domestic partners in the District of Columbia, and we refinanced the house I’d bought a year earlier. We asked to have Jill’s name added to the deed, just in case something happened to me.

We learned that in DC, you can add a "husband, wife, parent, or child’s" name to a property deed for no cost, but to make any other change is considered a "transfer of deed" and is subject to a fee of 1.5% of the value of the property.

I was shocked that a city as progressive and fair-minded as Washington DC would treat domestic partners differently from heterosexual married couples. In fact, I was so surprised that I honestly believed the lawyer had his facts wrong.

The next day I got online and called my City Council representative’s office, the tax assessor’s office, and Wanda Alston’s office. I was persuaded that the lawyer had his facts right, AND Wanda invited me to a meeting of the Mayor’s gay and lesbian community advisory board the next evening.

I told my story to the Mayor and his staff, and they informed me that they agreed it was unfair, and would introduce legislation to change that. Two or three months later, I was invited to testify before a DC City Council hearing on the subject. A few weeks later, the law was changed.

That first meeting stands out so powerfully in my memory for a few reasons. First, I felt completely at home. I walked into the meeting and saw Stacey, who I had always liked in law school. Marina Colby, another law school friend, spoke at the same meeting about Attorney General Ashcroft’s decision to prohibit the Department of Justice’s gay and lesbian employee group from having their annual awards ceremony on DOJ property.

But even more than how at home I felt, I remember how open Wanda and the Mayor were. It felt almost like they had been waiting for someone to ask the city to fix this injustice, and since I was asking, they were happy to fix it.

Wanda, thank you for your stand for the gay and lesbian community, thank you for working with me and letting me make a difference for gay and lesbian families in Washington DC, and thank you for being a powerful and loving partner to Stacey.

You will be sorely, sorely missed.