Collect and Third Party calls will not be accepted.
No wait, that’s not it. This is an interesting survey someone is conducting about social relationships and the blogosphere. If you have a blog, go take it.
Jun 302005
Jun 302005
Yesterday, I saw that someone named Paul had "tagged" Leta with an interesting post request/silly Internet quiz, and I hoped that she would tag me in return. Plus, I followed the links in Paul’s blog through one of those pleasant hours of random looks into the lives of total strangers, which are almost always fun. So, thank you Leta!
The questions that a "tagged" person is supposed to answer are:
1. What were three of the stupidest things you have done in your life?
Narrowing this down to three is REALLY hard. Partly because I think there are a lot more than three, and partly because I don’t really regret most of those stupid things. I learned from them and they helped me become the person I am. Still, in the spirit of the tag:
1. Staying in graduate school when I was clear that it wasn’t what I wanted to do. I could always have gone back later, and I wouldn’t have an almost $80K student loan debt still hanging around, slow-w-w-w-w-w-ly being eaten away.
2. Staying in a relationship that I knew was not going to work out, trying to convince myself that it the person would change and I would eventually be happy. (Eventually, I quit doing that particular stupid thing.)
3. Turning down a internship with a Senate office because it wasn’t the one I really wanted, without thinking about it overnight or asking anyone for advice.
2. At the current moment, who has the most influence in your life?
Easey-peasy. That would be my lovely wife, Jill.
3. If you were given a time machine that functioned, and you
were allowed to only pick up to five people to dine with, who would you
pick?
1. Eleanor Roosevelt
2. "Fighting Bob" LaFollette
3. Nelson Mandela (I know that wouldn’t take a time machine, but still)
4. Molly Ivins (yeah, she’s alive too)
5. Jeannette Rankin
4. If you had three wishes that were not supernatural, what would they be?
What does that mean? According to dictionary.com, "supernatural" has to do with miracles and things not possible in nature. I’m going to interpret that as excluding "world peace" and "an end to hunger" and "no more discrimination."
1. That we have a happy, healthy baby who grows up into a happy, healthy adult
2. That Jill finds a wonderful niche in the Atlanta theater community
3. That a generation from now, same-sex marriage is no more of a "big deal" or legal issue than interracial marriage is now
5. Someone is visiting your hometown/place where you live
at the moment. Name two things you regret your city not having, and two
things people should avoid.
I’m going to be brave and tackle this question about where I live at the moment. I regret that Decatur, and the Atlanta area, doesn’t have more people I know, and I regret that it doesn’t have a more moderate climate. It is too damn hot & sticky, and I’m told it’s going to get worse. Oh, and I regret that it wasn’t populated by Germans early in history, so there is no "grid" layout. Two things people should avoid are overpriced & unimpressive dinners at the Oakhurst Grill, and driving in rush hour traffic.
6. Name one event that has changed your life.
September 11. My being stuck in California, and then driving back to DC and agreeing to pick up Christa — then a near stranger — on the way, completely changed my life. The biggest, most obvious way is that I met Jill through Christa. But it was also the catalyst for me looking at a lot of things in my life, and changing them. I started getting my finances in order, bought my first house, and changed my career, all out of the way that event had me look at my life and my priorities.
7. Tag 5 people.
Jun 292005
Ok, one of these is silly and the other one is facinating, but I’m playing with both, and they’re oddly compelling.
1) www.notjunior.com: This is a site where your friends and family can contribute name suggestions, and rank & comment on other people’s suggestions.
I have no intention of letting anyone other than the two of us actually decide anything about what Lil Smudge is called when s/he is born, BUT, I think the idea is interesting, and I think it could be a fun exercise. I’m curious about what everyone thinks.
Also, I feel obligated to play with the site since they were VERY nice and changed the site in less than 24 hours when I sent them an email saying "Gee, I’d really like to try this, but we’re lesbian parents, and neither of us wants to be "Dad" or use one of the "Dad" icons." It still says "Dad" on the search page, but the sign-up page for parents is now "Parent One" and "Parent Two" and you can pick any of the 10 icons.
2) BabyNameWizard: Even cooler than NotJunior is this wild animated name tracker. My cube neighbor and his wife are expecting in about a month, and he shared this site with me. I’ve been looking up everyone’s names — it’s just facinating. And the graphics are cool.
Let me first start with a BIG THANK YOU to Mindy, for sending me this book. I think Bun in the Oven
Most pregnancy books are very Serious and Signficant, and tell you all the things that you MUST DO or you will have a mutant, brain-damaged, fetal-alcohol-syndromed, underweight baby and be arrested by Child Protective Services as soon as they legally can. Even when not scaring the hell out of you, they’re extremely strict and prissy. And they tend to gloss over some of the "yucky" bits.
By contrast, Bun in the Oven
The book is organized into weekly chapters, starting with Week 1, which is the first week post-period and in fact, two weeks before conception generally takes place. It runs through Week 43, which is about as long as most people are ever allowed by their doctors to go, before labor is induced.
Each chapter begins as a diary entry by "Madeline," a snarky, funny, professional career woman. It follows her symptoms, activities, concerns, and relationships with boyfriend Matt, Doctor Herb, Doula/Herbalist Beck, and hilariously weird family & coworkers throughout the pregnancy. This is where the book really shines as an informative, reassuring commentary on being pregnant. And most of the chapters had at least one moment where I laughed out loud. Some had more than one.
After the diary segment, there are more detailed explanations of various symptoms and possible issues, book recommendations, and other useful resources.
Cooke begins including baby care comments in the late week 30s, noting at some point that once the baby is born, you won’t have the time, energy, or brainpower to read the parenting books. Clever! Very good point!
Another stylistic aspect of this book that I really liked is that it WASN’T all full of husbands and fathers. In the diary segments, the narrator talks about her boyfriend, but he’s a real, interesting character in the book. He was written in such a way that anyone could relate, and Cooke felt no need to ALSO include "generic" comments for husbands and fathers.
At one point — and only one point that I can remember — she quotes a bit from a hospital list of what the partner should bring to the hospital, and mocks that it specifically talks about mens’ pjs, noting that she thought it was unfair and unnatural for lesbian partners to have to wear mens pjs at the hospital.
If you are pregnant, or anyone you know is pregnant, go read/get them this book right now.
Jun 282005
I was in New York for the weekend, which is part of how I got so much reading done. Lots of travel time, time in airports, and time in hotels. It was one of my better trips to NY, which is not a city I love.
The reason for my trip was Anna’s wedding shower & bachelorette party. I got into Manhattan on Saturday morning and met up with Anna and her friend Mary for brunch. Then Anna and I went on The Great Fabric Hunt.
If you look at me, you probably can’t tell that I’m pregnant. But I have reached the stage where my clothes are starting to not fit. Including the bridesmaid’s dress.
So we went looking matching fabric, with the intent of having gussets inserted into the dress, to make it bigger. We found a decent match at the 3rd or 4th fabric store; hopefully I won’t have trouble finding a tailor to make the alterations. We also bought new ribbon to match the trim.
Then we went back to change for the festivities. The shower was at Kathy’s apartment, which was bedecked in pink cloth and ribbons, and featured pink cupcakes, cosmopolitans, and a pink throne for Anna. The shower theme was lingerie, and Anna was forced to guess who sent which items. All my funny/trashy picks were erroneously attributed to Anna’s friend Jennie Sue, who, in fact, won the "porn star" award with her gift of furry, sequined panties. She also supplied glow in the dark clip-on earrings in the shape of penises, and fuchsia anal beads — which Anna wore as a bracelet.
Mary is a film student at UCLA, and made an amazing video montage of pictures of Anna and of Anna & Jason, including both cute and embarrassing photos, and wonderfully cheesy special effects. The video was the highlight of the shower. (Can you believe it topped the earrings?)
Around 7, we headed out to meet up with the bachelor party for a drink, and then it was dinner time — at LAST. (Have I mentioned that I am hungry ALL the time?) We went to the craziest Indian restaurant I’ve ever encountered. It was about 10×30 feet, and contained approximately 15,000 Christmas lights, which hang to head level while the diners sit. The food was amazing, and incredibly cheap.
Dinner finally wrapped up around 11, which is past my bedtime these days. So I headed back to my hotel room where I read for about 15 minutes and then crashed. Unfortunately, Lil Smudge did not enjoy the Indian food as much as I did, and I woke up with the worst heartburn I can remember. I was up from 2:30 until almost 5 am.
I woke up again around 9:30 and went in search of tea and a bagel, and discovered that I was half a block from the Gay Pride Parade route, although the parade didn’t start until noon. Still, given the bachelorettes’ plans, I figured I would have an hour or so to watch it, and I was right. More dykes on bikes and gay police officers than you can shake a stick at! Unfortunately, I let myself get a little dehydrated, and it took until this morning for me to feel fully back to "normal."
I had brunch again with Anna and Mary, before heading back to the airport and home. Unfortunately, my flight was delayed and I didn’t wind up home until late late late. Last night, I made up for it by going to bed at about 8:15 pm and sleeping through until 6 or so.
Jun 272005
I am in love with this book.
The Time Traveler’s Wife
The basic premise of the book is that Henry has a genetic disorder that causes him to pop in and out of the present, more or less at random. He lives his life in a linear way, but in fact, he goes back and forth in time to encounter himself and other people both in the past and in the future. The novel, however, doesn’t follow Henry’s life that way. It follows the linear life of Clare, Henry’s wife. Narration moves back and forth between Henry and Clare.
Henry, incidently, is a hipster librarian who specializes in rare books and manuscripts in an academic library. Clare is an artist, specializing in handmade papers and paper sculpture. What could be more eccentric and charming?
I don’t want to give away any plot points — the book is too interesting, and besides, Henry has a pretty strict policy against telling people what’s going to happen in their future, and since yours should include reading this book, I’ll keep with his policy against telling any details about your future.
Jun 242005
I just found out that MY BOOK is officially published, and will go on sale on Saturday at the American Library Association conference in Chicago.
Whoooo-whooooo!
Writing a book, even with the generous help and support of 3 co-authors, and a wonderful spouse, is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’m sure that part of that is because I wrote on a densely academic legal topic, privacy issues facing libraries. And I was SO NERVOUS about getting something in the book wrong. Librarians, library boards, local governments — all may depend on this book as they plan and update privacy, information collection, record storage, etc policies. And I’m the lawyer — I’m the one who said "this is what the rules say" in the book. Not to disparage my amazing co-authors. I’m sure they worked hard to get everything right too. But reasonable librarians may differ, more so I think, than a lawyer telling them what the rules are.
If I write another book, like the Internet safety books for kids that I’m thinking about, I think it’ll be more fun and less stressful.
If it isn’t, Jill probably won’t let me write a third book. 
I did things like kick her out of the house for entire weekends — thankfully, Mikki was living at the beach at the time, so Jill could go visit. And I procrastinated horribly!!! Which just made me crankier, so I don’t recommend it.
And I should be getting a copy of the book any day now!!!!!!!!
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