Other people throughout the news and blog worlds have talked about Mrs. Parks passing with more eloquence than I think I could bring to the subject. But I learned a few things from them, and it has all had me thinking.

I didn’t know that Mrs. Parks was an activist and organizer during her entire life. I knew that she hadn’t just gotten tired and refused to get up on the bus; the protest for which she was famous was an organized, strategic decision. But it makes me proud and it makes me feel hopeful that she kept organizing and remained politically active and engaged throughout her life.

And the elegant simplicity of her bus-riding protest makes me think about how important it is that organizers and activists remember how critical communication is to our goals. If we want something that sounds hard, or complicated, the odds are against us. The only way, IMO, to achieve complicated-sounding political goals is by playing super-duper inside-the-beltway politics, where you get your legislative language tucked into a bill somewhere, and at most 17 people understand it.

Last year’s gay marriages in San Francisco might have that elegant simplicity. Who could fail to be moved by the sight of hundreds and hundreds of couples, waiting in line, breathtakingly thrilled by the fact that they were about to get married? Most adults can relate to the emotional idea  that, "We just wanna get married!" Like everybody else.

Sure, we can back it up with 900 civil obligations and benefits the federal government confers when a couple is legally married, and lawyers can craft contractual agreements between people to grant each other a lot of them and blah blah blah blah blah.

And it isn’t that gay marriage is "not" about those benefits or obligations.

But for most people, no marriage is "about" that.

A handful of straight people may manipulate the legal system for marriage benefits for one or both parties. I’ve known a few people who did, either for insurance, or immigration, or in-state tuition purposes. Where that was the primary reason for getting married, it resulted in some pretty awful surprises. And it took a lot of time, money, worry, and energy to get out of it when they realized how very not worth it the narrow goal was, at the cost of being married to someone.

I think, for most straight people, being married is about the relationship they are in, about making a public commitment to a particular path in life, and is about being recognized as a family. In short, being married is about the emotional and social experience of Being Married.

I hope history looks back on those happy couples, and the happy couples who followed in Oregon and Massachusetts and elsewhere, and they are seen icons of change and justice in the world. I hope I have to answer to Lil Smudge and others when they ask if we were there, and why not.

Thank you, Mrs. Parks. It can’t have been easy living life as an icon.

Fruit & Veg Count for 10/25: 2 bananas & 1/2 cup spinach. (And I’m still waking up with leg cramps. Whine.)

Other people throughout the news and blog worlds have talked about Mrs. Parks passing with more eloquence than I think I could bring to the subject. But I learned a few things from them, and it has all had me thinking.

I didn’t know that Mrs. Parks was an activist and organizer during her entire life. I knew that she hadn’t just gotten tired and refused to get up on the bus; the protest for which she was famous was an organized, strategic decision. But it makes me proud and it makes me feel hopeful that she kept organizing and remained politically active and engaged throughout her life.

And the elegant simplicity of her bus-riding protest makes me think about how important it is that organizers and activists remember how critical communication is to our goals. If we want something that sounds hard, or complicated, the odds are against us. The only way, IMO, to achieve complicated-sounding political goals is by playing super-duper inside-the-beltway politics, where you get your legislative language tucked into a bill somewhere, and at most 17 people understand it.

Last year’s gay marriages in San Francisco might have that elegant simplicity. Who could fail to be moved by the sight of hundreds and hundreds of couples, waiting in line, breathtakingly thrilled by the fact that they were about to get married? Most adults can relate to the emotional idea  that, "We just wanna get married!" Like everybody else.

Sure, we can back it up with 900 civil obligations and benefits the federal government confers when a couple is legally married, and lawyers can craft contractual agreements between people to grant each other a lot of them and blah blah blah blah blah.

And it isn’t that gay marriage is "not" about those benefits or obligations.

But for most people, no marriage is "about" that.

A handful of straight people may manipulate the legal system for marriage benefits for one or both parties. I’ve known a few people who did, either for insurance, or immigration, or in-state tuition purposes. Where that was the primary reason for getting married, it resulted in some pretty awful surprises. And it took a lot of time, money, worry, and energy to get out of it when they realized how very not worth it the narrow goal was, at the cost of being married to someone.

I think, for most straight people, being married is about the relationship they are in, about making a public commitment to a particular path in life, and is about being recognized as a family. In short, being married is about the emotional and social experience of Being Married.

I hope history looks back on those happy couples, and the happy couples who followed in Oregon and Massachusetts and elsewhere, and they are seen icons of change and justice in the world. I hope I have to answer to Lil Smudge and others when they ask if we were there, and why not.

Thank you, Mrs. Parks. It can’t have been easy living life as an icon.

Fruit & Veg Count for 10/25: 2 bananas & 1/2 cup spinach. (And I’m still waking up with leg cramps. Whine.)