Thu 1 Dec 2005
We’re in something of a "chicken and egg" situation. Are we starting to freak out about what being new Moms is going to be like because we’re reading books like Mother Shock or Operating Instructions
, and even 100 Things…
, or are we reading Mother Shock and Operating Instructions because we’re starting to freak out?
I think the freaking out is coming first.
It isn’t that there aren’t lovely moments happening — when I first woke up this morning, I lay for awhile with my hand on my belly, just hanging out with my squirmy Lil Smudge.
But there’s so much to DO: Childbirth class! Breastfeeding class! Infant CPR! Putting the crib together! Dealing with the changing table/dresser that grandma thinks is hazardous! Going to Milwaukee! Going to California for work! Going to DC for Christmas! Christmas shopping! Housecleaning! Regular old grocery shopping! Laundry! Thank you notes! Work! Medical appointments! Spending down the Health Care Savings Account by the end of the year! Bills! Mail!
Deep breath.
It’ll get done.
The point of all or almost all of those things is to be a resource and a contribution, whether that’s to family, work, or the new baby. It’s to connect, be part of something, and to support and nurture this growing family.
If I keep my focus on that, the critical parts will get done.
And that’s the context for my efforts to eat healthfully too. Fruit & Veg Count, 11/30: 1 organic gala apple, 1 cup sweet potato puree, 3/4 cup green beans, 3/4 cup asperagus, 1/2 cup regular potato au gratin.
Oh, right, and the book Mother Shock:
Buchanan’s style is much more ‘mainstream magazine’ than Anne Lamott’s ‘in-your-face’ and their books complement one another. I liked the analytical nature of Buchanan’s comparison of the first year of motherhood to the experience of culture shock. I do think the book went on too long, however. My interest started flagging about 2/3 of the way through.
One thing that was especially interesting was reading Buchanan’s story at the same time as reading these articles and commentaries on the alleged trend of highly educated women dropping out of the workforce (or at least the career track) to stay home with babies and children. Thanks to Bitch PhD and I Blame the Patriarchy for the links!
And on a totally unrelated note, I Blame the Patriarchy also links to a completely (unintentionally?) hilarious NEW YORK TIMES story on the sexy women of international chess.
My absolute favorite quotation from the article is where the ‘arbiter’ of the chess beauty contest site says, "If you want to promote
women’s chess on its own, then you have to do something like this."
I’m sorry — isn’t that the opposite of ‘promoting women’s chess on its own?’
The article did give me flashbacks to being in, and later being kicked out of, the Chess Homeroom in high school. I wonder what Mr Salyards thought about the article.




December 1st, 2005 at 9:01 am
My philosophy is going to be calling you and Jill and asking
Kidding
Trust me.. you are not the only one freaking out. Seriously.. I’m not sure I know how to be a mom. No turning back now! (not that I would want to!)
I think we need a telephone freak out session together.
December 1st, 2005 at 10:27 am
When Kristin hit about 4 months she freaked out about how much we had to do. Then she calmed down and then freaked out again at 6 months. That feeling of too much to do and and yet wanting it all done and freaking out about everything is so completely normal. And yes, it will all get done.
Have you read the 3 Martini Playdate?
December 1st, 2005 at 11:38 am
Heh! I just looked up Three Martini Playdate and ordered it immediately.
Trista, you are specifically invited to recommend books ANY TIME you think of it.
And Lizzie, I agree completely.