A couple of weeks ago, I ordered one of those "belly cast kits" online.
It finally arrived this weekend. Four rolls of plaster bandages, 4" wide, a pair of latex gloves, 2 pieces of sandpaper, and a "hanger kit" (wire, hanger-hook & nail).
I hope that my belly is as big as it will ever be, and I’d like to record that gargantuan size for posterity. I’d also like to show Smudge "you once were so small, you fit into a space that big!" (Today was the 4th time that someone has asked if I’m having twins, and upon being told ‘no,’ asked if I was sure.)
Tonight was the night.
I asked Jill if she’d like to help, and she got that panicked look that people get when they think you really need them to do something which, given the choice between your request and going to the dentist, they’d prefer the dentist.
"Sure, honey." You have to hear that in the flattest, most dejected possible tone. Have I mentioned that I’m the one who likes arts and crafts projects?
"You don’t have to."
"Of course I have to."
"No, really, you don’t have to. It really was an invitation."
"Well, maybe I’ll come help in a few minutes."
"Er…if you are going to help, I’m going to do something different than if you aren’t. So you don’t have to help, but you do have to decide."
"Ok."
I wandered off into the bathroom and proceeded to trash it, coating her sink and counter with plaster dust while I cut the rolls of bandages into the instructed lengths. She has more counter space, and mine is covered with crap anyway.
My lovely wife wandered in, looked concerned, and then began kissing the back of my neck. To add insult to injury, I whined about her leaning on me, and then asked her to go get me a bowl from the kitchen, to use to dip the plaster strips. I did promise to clean up after myself.
I am such a lucky woman.
Eventually, I finished cutting up the bandages, filled the bowl with water, coated my belly with thick lotion, and stood in the bathtub making the belly cast. (No other body parts, thanks.)
I’d forgotten how quickly plaster bandaging dries.
I barely had one layer on when it started to peel away, and it was also lumpy, uneven, and funny looking, at least from above. Of course, it turns out that from the bathtub where I was standing, you can’t see either giant mirror in our bathroom. I frantically added layers where I thought they might be needed. And I held the bottom part in place while the top part dried enough to fall away.
When I let it fully come away from my belly, I was pretty astonished at the size. I’ll take a picture tomorrow and post it.
But what really blows my mind is the idea that there are people who can do this so skillfully that two squares of fine-grained sandpaper would make the slightest amount of difference to the finished product. Mine is so "folk art" that sanding it would just add to the plaster dust collection left by the remaining bandage strips.
On the plus side, the bathroom sink and counter are clean.
And I do love my belly cast.
I’ll probably reinforce the thin spots with leftover plaster strips, and maybe even out some of the lumps. It’s supposed to dry for at least 2-3 days, so if Smudge hasn’t come yet by the weekend, I may do that then.
I haven’t decided exactly how I’m going to decorate this large, strange bowl-like sculpture, although hanging it on the wall is pretty much out of the question. Fruit bowl? Baby boat? Decoupage it with baby pictures after Smudge arrives? Your ideas are welcome!
Fruit & Veg Count, 1/24: 1 organic banana, 1-1.25 cups large carrot sticks
