I think the root problem right now is The King’s rash. He’s going back to the pediatrician as soon as we can get him in, which I assume will be Monday. It’s started looking crusty and truly awful. (And that is also why I haven’t posted any pictures in a few days.)
The rash is obviously making him itchy and miserable, so much so that he doesn’t even completely stop fussing while he’s eating. The pattern goes:
- Eat like a maniac for 3-5 minutes,
- Wriggle/squirm/kick/turn beet red,
- Successfully hurl body away from dinner,
- Shriek horribly for 1-2 minutes — even when dinner is being stuffed into your mouth,
- Suddenly realize that you can eat and resume eating as if nothing happened.
Repeat with diminishing eating intensity, 2-4 times per boobie, every 2-3 hours. Once per day, wait 4 hours.
In other news, we’re leaning towards an option on the adoption front. We haven’t totally decided yet, but it looks like the best option is going to be moving to a neighboring county where same-sex second parent adoptions are a non-issue.
I’m very sad and stressed out about that as the option — I love our house, I love our neighborhood, I love the location, and this will be my 4th and Jill’s 5th move since 2001. (I think. She might have 1 more.) Plus we both did separate stints in temporary housing when we originally relocated here, because I moved here first.
We’re looking at renting ASAP while selling our place and finding a new place to buy, because we don’t want The King to be without the protection of having 2 legal parents any longer than is absolutely necessary. Plus it would give us a chance to "taste test" a new neighborhood.
The reason we feel such a sense of urgency about this is twofold — first, there is a same-sex second-parent adoption that is being challenged and is currently working it’s way through the appellate court system. If they come back with a bad decision, we may not be able to ensure that The King gets 2 legal parents.
And second, the legislature may come in and "clarify" the law — a circumstance that strikes me as even more likely if the appellate court comes down with a good decision. And that clarification is just not going to be one that helps families like ours.
IMO, the best chance of protecting The King and our family is by acting as soon as possible, before the legal circumstances change.
Much like giving up a favorite food group for awhile, moving to another part of the metro area is a pain in the ass and I really and truly wish I didn’t have to do it, but it isn’t so burdensome that it outweighs the safety and security of my baby. And also like giving up dairy while he nurses, it doesn’t mean I have to give it up forever. If we stay in the metro area long term, maybe one day we’ll move back to this community.
Is it possible to try and have your cake (house) and eat it too? By which I mean rent out your current house for the duration and move into a rental in the new county? Then you know you can move back eventually. According to MZ, as long as you make it your real, honest-to-God legal residence, it’s perfectly fine to rent for the purposes of 2nd parent adoptions (though she’s talking VA/MD, I would assume it’s the same).
Poor kid…
Your adoption plan sounds good. Can you keep your house and just rent an apartment so that you can adopt in the next county?
I hope the legislation will not pass…
It sucks that you have to take such drastic measures to insure protections that should already be in place. If this kind of thing was happening to a same-sex couple it would be all over the news and lots of people would be on soapboxes decrying the loss of liberty for the american family. (Or some other such nonsense)
This was a big issue for me in the last big election. I could not believe Curious George was advocating a Constitutional Amendment that restricted citizen’s rights (The gay marriage amendment, which he hasn’t mentioned since winning the election.)
Whatever happens, I hope you find the peace and security that every family deserves.
ooops….This is happening to a same-sex couple. I meant to say a hetero couple would draw the attention.
Sorry for the confusion. We now return to our program…
Honestly, we haven’t talked about renting at all. It’s worth looking into — thanks for the idea!
I’m not sure we have the capital to buy a new place without selling this one. But looking into it doesn’t cost anything.
Buying a new one without selling the old would have big tax implications, because you would have to make the new house your legal residence. Then whenever you sold one of them, you’d end up with a big tax burden. I forget the details but I know that’s the gist. But renting the old out and renting a temporary house or apt would NOT have those tax ramifications while still allowing you to live in another county and do the adoption.
There may be other tax angles I’m unaware of.
I’m so sad to hear that you have to jump through so many hoops.:-( From selling/renting/buying, the law is that you have to own and occupy the house at least 2 years in the previous 5 to get the tax break. I wonder if you could just rent a place for a few months, “move in” until the adoption is legal and then move back to your real home. The whole thing is unfair but you shouldn’t have to leave your home if you love where you are.
Thanks, everybody, for your ideas and thoughts.
We’re trying to go through this stuff in the “most critical” order. We think we’ve got a rental place in the appropriate county, available shortly, so we can get the adoption ball rolling.
Next step is cleaning up our current house, a major undertaking that we’ll have to do regardless of whether we attempt to sell or rent. While we work on the cleanup, we’ll also be exploring both sale and rental possibilities.
Thank god that The King sleeps in his bassinet and pack-n-play, so we can move “easy to move” things first, while keeping him comfortable.