This may be the wierdest mail experience I’ve ever had:

Today at work, via interoffice mail, I got an anonymous Christian chain letter. Really. I couldn’t make this up! Here’s the letter, with my snarky reactions & comments in color & italics.

Greetings! This is NOT a chain letter.

Oh my god, someone at work sent me a chain letter!

It asks for no money, only your participation. The original version of this letter is in the New England area of the United States and has circled the globe nine times.

Isn’t that the definition of a chain letter?

This letter has been sent to you because someone wants you to receive a financial blessing.

How nice of them. I wonder why they sent it anonymously.

You will recive a financial blessing within four days of receiving this letter provided you PASS IT ON. THIS IS NOT A JOKE!

Maybe it’s a joke! That makes more sense. But again, why anonymous? In case you weren’t sure, the emphasis is in the original.

Do not keep or discard this letter. It must leave your hands within 96 hours. (Four Days ) Send no money, as fate has no price.

Do not keep or discard it??? Fate has no price? Spacing and punctuation have no price either. The mind boggles.

Some Examples:
A United States Air Force Officer received $470,000 after he mailed his 20 copies.

Don’t you feel more secure already?

John Elliot received over $40,000 but then lost it because he broke the chain.
* While in the Philippines, Gene Welch lost his wife 51 days after receiving this letter, which he failed to circulate. After circulating his copies, he received $7,500,000.

Poor John Elliot. In googling "’john elliot’ chain letter" I see that not only did he lose $40k, he also recieved and lost 10k in English currency, was busted trying to pick up a prostitute, and found brake shoes that had fallen off a truck.   

Since this letter must tour the world, please make 20 copies of this letter and send them out. Send them to friends, relatives, associates, even people you don’t know.

Maybe that’s why I’m getting this? Still, it makes me nervous to work with people this gullible.

SEE WHAT HAPPENS IN FOUR DAYS

I hope to. Let’s see, in 4 days, it will be Saturday. Jill and I are planning a big weekend with Dr Madelaine visiting….

You will get a surprise! This is true even if you don’t believe in blessings!

Ok…

NEED IDEAS? Send it by mail to people who send you mail. Or use the phone book. Or scan this into your E-mail and send it to others who have E-Mail.

Is this how spam gets born?

The variable capitalization of "email" is an exact transcription. I don’t really care how you spell it (I prefer e-mail, myself), but be consistent.

Or, type it into another language if you are bi-lingual. Or send it to friends or pen pals around the world.

Maybe I should send it to those nice Nigerian members of the royal family who are always offering to help me with financial blessings….

Whatever you do, DO NOT DO THE FOLLOWING;

Under no circumstances should you learn the proper use of a semicolon!

When Constantine Dias received this letter, he asked his secretary to make 20 copies and mail them out. A few days later, she won her states lottery for over $2,000,000.

Poor Constantine! Apparently this terrible trouble has been plaguing the man since 1958. Or 1982. Or 1983. Depending on where you click in when you google him.

Carlos Daddit, an office employee, received this letter and forgot it had to leave his hands within 96 hours. He lost his job. Later after finding it again, he mailed his 20 copies. A few days later he got a better job!

A young woman in California received this letter faded and barely readable. She Promised herself she would retype it and send it on. But she set it aside to do later. Soon after, she was plagued with various problems, including expensive car repairs. This letter did not leave her hands within 96 hours. She finally retyped it as promised and got a new car!

NOW I get it! I should save this letter for a rainy day. When I really need money, I should send it out. But only if I didn’t follow the instructions first?

REMEMBER, SEND NO MONEY. Do not sign this. It works…….

Oh! Its supposed to be anonymous. Otherwise we would know who to complain about, or to, or to try to educate on chain letters and other forms of silly scams.

ST>JUDE

I was right! We are supposed to save this for a rainy day. Or when we think things are hopeless.

I don’t know what your beliefs are personally, but I believe in Blessings from GOD through JESUS CHRIST<OUR LORD!!!

The last bits seem like they were tacked on by some previous person responding to the original sender, perhaps by a Christian who finds chain letters not only irritating, but maybe even blasphemous. A Christian with a strange attachment to the arrow keys on his or her computer.

That’s all there was. The letter itself was a 1 page obviously re-re-re-copied sheet. I don’t recognize the handwriting on the inter-d envelope, and I can’t imagine the people I know who sit on the 7th floor (where the envelope was last sent) sending out such silly crap.

Really, I’m more skeeved out by this than entertained. I don’t like anonymous letters, even when they’re harmlessly funny. I’d rather get junk mail like Noah’s.