Thu 8 Jun 2006
I’m feeling overwhelmed right now, and when I get overwhelmed, I also get testy, which makes everything worse.
It’s really hard when Jill is depressed. She doesn’t have the energy she used to have, and she needs more support. She still aces work, because she feels in control there, I guess. And they tell her how much they need her and how much they appreciated her — not that she’s gotten any of the training she’s supposed to have gotten in the last year, or the promotions. They treat her as if she were a senior staff member, but her title is that of an entry level person. She’s even training someone this week.
But I digress. My point was that everything is harder when the people you love aren’t themselves.
This week was obviously extra hard and chaotic because of the home study and Noah starting "school." But knowing that doesn’t make me feel less drained.
It’s all the constant crap that there is to do that makes me feel so drained.
I don’t have a working-and-Noah functional plan for grocery shopping yet. I do it ad hoc, and that means that for the last two nights, we’ve had, "ummmm, let’s see if there’s anything we can make" for dinner. Pasta and frozen burritos. (Not together.) We’re going to run out of milk tomorrow, and we’re also out of eggs. I don’t know what our coffee situation is; since Noah was born, Jill makes the coffee while I feed him in the morning.
This morning, I forgot to put bottle nipples in Noah’s cooler. Fortunately, one bottle has a nipple and cover instead of a lid, so they just re-used that one continuously today, and asked us to please remember. And on the home front, another MilkMate lid broke, which means that the one extra they supplied leaves me with one fewer than the number of bottles. And the Medela lids don’t fit those bottles tightly.
Oh, and my right thumb/wrist/elbow is causing problems. They’re back, just like they were 3 years ago. I need to get a thumb-inclusive brace and some physical therapy.
In my free time.
Personal To Do List, By Sunday Night:
Plan dinners for next week
Grocery shop, farmer’s market and regular store
New larger cooler for Noah
Noah’s 4 month visit
More bottles, suitable for pumping storage and feeding
Soft-tip baby spoons
Deal with the mail
Deal with mid-month bills
Fold & put away small mountain of Noah laundry & larger mountain of mommies’ laundry
Yeah Right Personal To Do List I Admit I’m Not Doing by Sunday
Fold & put away stuff in mommies’ room
Tidy Noah’s room past the bare minimum
Clean off desk
I don’t know which list gets "set up Jill’s new computer that’s been in a box in our living room for 3 weeks." Probably the second.
Noah fell asleep at 7 pm tonight, which means he’ll probably be up at 4. I better get a few hours of sleep.
June 9th, 2006 at 12:46 am
I think you really need to add a “do something for myself” item to that list. You are sounding a bit stressed (which is, of course, probably the appropriate state for you given all that’s going on), and I don’t know about you, but when I’m stressed self care tends to go right out the window. Which makes things worse, of course.
I wish I were closer to you! You could drop Noah off for a few hours — what’s one more kid to me, given my monkeyhouse? — and take some time with Jill to just recharge those batteries.
June 9th, 2006 at 10:52 am
Hang in there. F could have been writing that post too. I totally get where you are. Also, thanks for the LinkIn into.It has proved very useful. Take care of yourself and your fam! L
June 9th, 2006 at 11:43 am
I agare with the above comments. How is it that we’ve all lost our focus? I’m “retired” and I could say a lot of the same things, especially about the grocery list. I will make one this afternoon; really.
From what I’ve read, this sense of chaos is pretty normal with a new baby; remember, he’s not all that old.
And I agree; you and Jill need some time together. Depression takes time to life and your life is very stressful right now. I’d tell you to stop worrying about the small stuff but that would be oh so hypocritical. I do it all the time. Get a babysitter and see a movie and go out to eat and just love each other a little. We can hardly wait to see you in July.
Much love, Bruce and Sandra
June 9th, 2006 at 3:23 pm
i wish i had a way to make you feel better.
i have no idea what it’s like to be working moms, but my advice is to lower your standards on domestic chores A LOT. wear your clothes dirty (let them air out for a few days if they smell) — saves on laundry. don’t bother to fold your or noah’s clothes, you are going to wear them soon enough anyway. leave them in the laundry basket until you need to use it again or dump it on a chair. there’s nothing wrong with freezer diving, pasta and burritos are perfectly fine meals. also, there’s always chinese and pizza delivery. have you looked into a grocery service like “peapod” - i think it’s pretty low cost. don’t go to a store for anything you can buy on the internet, and do your internet shopping while you are at work. pay your bills from work too. i’m totally serious. i would be overwhelmed trying to be as organized as you are even WITHOUT having a kid. it sounds to me like you are asking too much of yourself. all you have to do is keep noah healthy and fed and happy, keep yourselves healthy and fed and sane, and not lose your jobs in the process. everything else is optional.
June 9th, 2006 at 10:25 pm
I agree w/ everything Jen said. Pick your battles and choose what needs to get done. I don’t know if it will help but I think everyone feels overwhelmed at points when they have babies. I did and I didn’t even work! There should be a service that matches up SAHMs like me with moms like you who could use a hand. I’d love to help out if I could, even if it’s just to fold laundry. Oh, as dinner goes, if you belong to Costco, they have prepared dinners now that they make and they look good. Plus, then you can buy bulk in everything you need and not have to shop for months.