Tue 17 Oct 2006
Whooo-Whooo! Babies!
Posted by Liza under Personal
In the last 24 hours, I’ve learned that TWO couples in my life are pregnant. I’m not yet at liberty to disclose identifying characteristics, not even to you, dear blogosphere. Suffice it to say that I am DELIGHTED for them both.
AND, also in the last 24 hours, a third couple whom I adore sent out ultrasound pictures of their TWIN 20-weeks-along future-baby boys. (Scott & Heather, King friends who are not on Scott’s email list!)
(Note to my sad and stressed out still trying to conceive friends: at least one of these couples has been trying long and hard for years. I hope I get to congratulate you like this too.)
October 17th, 2006 at 4:29 pm
i just found out that my oldest friend lori is pregnant. (i mean, we’ve been friends the longest — over 30 years!)
anyway, i told her she should check out your blog to get an idea of what to expect. this is a great resource for women who are expecting and new moms!
October 17th, 2006 at 6:48 pm
I just want to say I am resisting the all-too-obvious pun in your second-to-last line.
October 17th, 2006 at 8:49 pm
Oh, and congratulations to the anonymous pregnant folks and their partners.
October 17th, 2006 at 9:18 pm
I must be pun-challenged today, Reno. I’m completely missing it.
October 17th, 2006 at 10:29 pm
Probably just as well.
An added note of cheer (if this really is helpful and not just another unhelpful anecdote) for those working on conceiving — a family friend went through a few years of in vitro, finally got pregnant and had twin girls, didn’t bother with birth control because, hey, she had proof there was no need for it, right?
Her son was born 11 months after the twins.
Bodies are mysterious.
October 18th, 2006 at 2:07 am
Congrats to everyone.
As the country hits the 300,000,000 mark, I have to admit I just don’t get the pressure couples put on themselves to have babies.
A couple Karen and I know got married this summer. 3 weeks later she was upset that she wasn’t pregnant yet. Now they’re talking about a fertility doctor. What’s the rush?
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got three nieces and I love them dearly. If you’re out there trying to concieve, godspeed.
Just don’t beat yourself up if it’s not happening. Take comfort in the love of your spouse. Enjoy the life the universe has given you.
October 18th, 2006 at 9:34 am
I think the “drive” to have babies is so individual, it’s really hard to get in someone else’s head or heart about the why and the when.
I was lucky with Noah; I got pregnant on my 5th cycle of trying. Statistically, you don’t hit a 50:50 chance until you’ve been trying for 6 months, even if you don’t have any infertility issues. (Ssh! Don’t tell the teenagers!)
But all those stats and stories were not at all comforting when I found myself, month after month, godf*ckingdammit not pregnant again. That each attempt also cost us hundreds of $$$ added insult to injury.
Who knows why it was so heartbreaking for me? Maybe because sex and reproduction hit on that very intimate, human-animal part of our brains, that isn’t so much subject to reason and logic? Maybe because no matter how professional the medical folks are, there’s still something a little humiliating and supervulnerable about the actual process of the doctor trying to get you pregnant? It was like an extended dance play version of a pap smear, month after month, with 1-2 ultrasounds/month in between. And the ultrasounds aren’t the through-the-belly kind, as they are later in pregnancy. The preconception ultrasounds of the ovaries are through what is commonly (and comically) referred to in the trying-to-conceive blogosphere as a “dildocam.”
(And then there’s the fact that many of the people I know personally who are trying to get pregnant using technological assistance are lesbians. They’re just not going to relax, quit worrying, and wake up pregnant a month or two later.)
October 18th, 2006 at 4:52 pm
Amen to both universe-thanking and mysterious-heart-following.
Add to what Liza says the pressure of our *ahem* advancing age. (Although you are eternally young in my eyes, darling, and we are still giggling at the back of math class.)
And Sean, you’re right too: Questioning fertility after three weeks is waaaay too panicky. Three months, even.