that I might be having a baby later on this year.
Yeah, I know, lots and lots of peesticks and blood draws and blurry pictures of tiny aliens allegedly in my abdomen, there’s been plenty of evidence that I’m doing this for weeks now.
And there’s the whole nauseated and unable to brush my teeth thing.
But since about 2 days ago, my body has been feeling different. My belly feels both bigger and less squishable. My regular (fat) pants are getting seriously uncomfortable.
It’s kinda cool. 
I have the worst cold & cough I can remember having in ages. It hit it’s worst Saturday night, when I actually lost my voice. I still sound vaguely Lauren Bacallesque, but I’m 80-90% better today.
Inconveniently, I was visiting my parents in Wisconsin on Saturday night. It’s always better to be sick at home.
The trip was still great, at least between the coughing!
I got in Saturday morning, had fabulous pizza for lunch with my family and a family friend. Then I walked from the pizza place to a nearby coffeeshop and hung out with my dear friends Peter & Meredith. (For those who care, they are in for the big 4-0 celebration next year, and vote for during spring break.)
Saturday night was the whole point of the trip.
My Dad was given a Lifetime Achievement award by the ACLU of Wisconsin.
It was given as part of their big annual fundraising dinner, which was scheduled long before anyone imagined that today would be the most exciting presidential primary election in the state in a generation. The dinner was unfortunately scheduled for the exact same time as the State Democratic Party’s big annual fundraising dinner, to which both Senators Clinton and Obama accepted invitations. So the ACLU dinner wasn’t quite as well attended as we might have hoped.
Also, the keynote speaker was supposed to have been cartoonist Tom Tomorrow, but his last-minute flight was canceled. Luckily a local progressive academic was available to talk about civil liberties and the war on terrorism.
ANYWAY, the dinner was fabulous, even with all of that. It was fun to see people like my dad’s college roommate, mom’s law school roommate, political and organizing friends from various efforts over the past almost-50 years, and close and long-term family friends. I got a chance to see some law school friends, too, which was nice. (More were at the Dem dinner, including the husband of the lovely woman who nominated my dad for the award, and introduced him at the dinner. And BTW, she looked amazing for a woman who was a month post-partum!)
Sunday morning, still croaky, I went with dad to an event for Senator Clinton. As I’ve mentioned, I voted for the other candidate, but I think either of them would be great, and I have a lot of admiration for Senator Clinton. I do think it would be amazing to have a woman President. But I mostly went to hang out with dad, and also to see other friends whom I suspected would be there.
That part was great! It was mostly family friends, but some fun catching up took place. Congresswoman Baldwin was lovely, and it was exciting to hear that her partner Lauren has a fabulous new job. (Lauren was a friend during law school, before she ever met Tammy.) It was also good to hear from Maria that Madelaine and Eric weren’t ignoring me, they were celebrating Eric’s 40th in Vegas. Happy Birthday, Eric!!!
The photo ops turned out better than the one of Mrs. Clinton, Mom, and me in 1996, but since that still rates as one of the 10 worst pictures ever taken of me (or mom!), this is faint praise indeed. At least, in addition to looking fat and pasty, I look happy.
I spent Sunday afternoon in the airport, hearing that my flight was delayed in 15 minute increments, until the one they gave us an hour delay. After we got on the plane, 3 hours late, something went wrong with the baggage loading. So we missed our window to leave, and had to get back at the end of the line. Another 1.5 hours later.
Did I mention I was sick? And that I would have then gotten home about 4 MORE hours later?
I got off the plane and begged my parents to leave the theater and come take me back to their house to sleep. Fortunately, Dad was hating the play.
I crashed and tried again at 7:15 am with much better results. Except that I was still sick. I called in sick to work yesterday, but went in today. Until my boss said, “You look terrible. Go home.”
Now Jill is sick. She moved from the couch briefly, for about an hour after dinner. Noah was happy about that part!
Now I’m eagerly and facinatedly watching the Wisconsin primary results and listening to the Obama speech about grants for students in exchange for community service. Is that like the National Service Corp on steroids?
Also? Today is the first time I’ve noticed technical difficulties when I go to bend over. Not major difficulties, but that belly bulge is … becoming more real. And more solid. I think I might be having a baby.
I think it’s bedtime.
No, not to family or friends (although I am going to visit my parents sans Noah & Jill this weekend).
To my toothbrush.
Ok, that’s a slight exaggeration, BUT all the “yes, but I can still brush my teeth” gloating I’ve been doing this pregnancy is apparently biting me in the ass.
I now have 3 days in a row of getting sick during brushing. While using the toothpaste that was the least offensive during my previous pregnancy. (Tom’s of Maine spearmint gel, and by the way, has that been discontinued? I can’t find it!!!)
Invest in whoever makes that yellow medicine-flavored mouthwash, because if my previous track record is anything to go by, I will be relying on it for 75% of my oral hygiene until mid-September. (Not 100%, because you know you can’t actually stop brushing your teeth. It would be too disgusting. So you try to figure out how much you can brush without puking, and sometimes you just resign yourself to brush.puke.mouthwash.)
Let me leave this on a happier note. Noah says “Happy Valentine’s Day!”
(In the interest of honesty, what Noah really said was, “More gummi bear?” With bitter crying when the answer was, “No, it’s time for dinner. More broccoli & chicken!” But as you can see, he got over it.)
So tell me, if you’ve ever been pregnant, what was your funniest or most disgusting symptom? (Or that of your pregnant partner or friend?)
This week is the third annual Freedom to Marry Week, and when better to discuss that than Valentine’s Day?
Yesterday, I posted about all the boringly practical things I’m planning to spend my 2007 bonus purchasing or fixing. What I didn’t say is how lucky I feel — the original plan for this bonus was that it would go straight into savings in order to pay for the roughly $3000 that it will cost my family for Jill to become Blur’s legal parent.
And that’s assuming that we don’t get assigned to the homophobic judge in our county and have to move. Again.
The only reason we can afford to do such scandalously frivolous things as garbage disposals and storage bins with that bonus check is because my company announced last week that they’re moving from annual bonuses to twice/year bonuses this year, and also giving retention bonuses. Both of those will be paid out much closer to the time that little Blur is due.
There will be no new tires with that money. That will be all about the lawyers.
When a couple is legally married, they are both automatically the legal parents of any child born during the marriage. They don’t have to spend thousands of dollars on legal fees, creating a legally binding relationship between the child and the parent who didn’t gestate the child.
And if that legally married family suffers a tragic accident, such as the death of that non-gestating parent, even a bran-new newborn will at least have the financial safety net of survivorship benefits from the deceased parent’s Social Security.
We spent nearly all of our savings on expenses related to Noah’s adoption, particularly with the unexpected fact of having to move to a new county after being assigned to the one judge in our county who flat out refuses to grant same sex couples second parent adoptions.
But it was worth it to have the security that provides.
I am by no means saying that Noah and I won’t be a serious mess if something were to happen to Jill. We would be!
But it helps a tiny bit to know that at least there would be a modest ongoing income for Noah’s support, through to his adulthood.
Can you imagine how unfair it would be for Noah to have that, but his equally loved and planned for future sibling to be left high and dry?
There are a myriad of other reasons why families like mine need to be free to legally marry, why civil unions, partnership agreements, registered domestic partnerships, and insurance benefits for domestic partners are not enough. For more personal stories about how important this is, check out Robin’s blog, The OTHER Mother, for bloggers participating in a cool week-long meme about it.
All those reasons are compelling and important too. But right now, as a mother who is pregnant with a so very wanted and planned for child, fear of the worst case scenario is the reason that wakes me up at night.
Today we’re going to hear what our final numbers are for our 2007 bonus. Some of you may recall that my company laid off roughly 50% of the staff last year, and while it no longer feels like we are still at the longest funeral in human history, morale is still … a little weak.
Of course everyone has been speculating and estimating like mad since last week, when our 4th Quarter earnings report came out, and before that, since they announced that there would be one bonus calculation from 1/1-7/31 and a completely separate one from 8/1-12/31. Most people have a pretty good idea of the first figure, and for a lot of people, it bit.
Anyway, I don’t think it’s going to bite. I think it will be very helpful, and I’m planning to spend mine on exciting and glamorous things like:
Happy Birthday, Dave!
Thought for Dave and all other RKHS friends: 2009. 40. (For many of us; 41 for some; not quite 40 for a few.)
Rent a big ass house on a beach together for a week sometime? Babysitting in shifts, cooking big dinners together, drinking many delicious beverages?
Talk amongst yourselves.
Also, happy birthday and welcome to the world our newest neighbor, Ansley Elizabeth.
She arrived this morning at 1:46 am, weighing in at a whopping 10 lbs, 10 oz, 5 days post-EDD, by c/s after putting her sweet parents through 26 hours of labor. Mama and baby are both healthy and recovering nicely — we can’t wait to welcome them home.
Dear Noah,
Today, you turned two years old.
You had a kind of rough morning this morning, and I carried you downstairs then sat with you collapsed against my chest. I looked at This Mommy and said, “Remember how I used to sit with him like this, only his feet just reached my belly?” She chuckled and nodded. You’ve grown from 21.5 inches to at least 3 feet, and from just under 10 lbs to roughly 35.
On the whole, you’ve never been more charming. You talk constantly, speculating on the activities and whereabouts of your trains, dinosaurs, and other toys, and repeating things you’ve heard — either recently or often, we suspect. Twice during dinner last week, you shrieked loudly and then said, “Noah, stop screaming.” And stopped screaming. In Sunday school today, you repeated the last two words at every pause in the story. “Water above!” “Growing things!” “Two legs!”
Yesterday, we had a birthday party with lots of your friends, at an indoor “bouncy castle” playground. Kaylee came, with her big brother Alex, and also Maggie & Sidney from day care. Tommy & Laurel came from music class, and our neighbors Asha and Nina. Liam couldn’t make it, but he came by today with a police car that you really like.
We still love seeing you with Kaylee. I first noticed the two of you connecting when you were just 7.5 months old, and I came home from my first business trip away from you. I arrived at day care as soon as I got in, and sat and nursed you to sleep in the play area. You dozed for about 45 minutes, and then Kaylee came by to see what was going on — you woke to her voice and seemed torn between clinging to me and going to play with her.
She’s still all up in your business, grooming you, hugging you, trying to either take or feed you your birthday cake. The two of you took turns chasing one another all over the indoor playground yesterday, and she inspired you to climb the big slide all by yourself.
Not that you don’t also love playing with Maggie. Last weekend you ran for her at the playground, and the two of you had a blast when her Daddy and I decided to take the two of you out for dinner. Maggie’s Mommy was working, and so was yours.
Actually, we think you’ve become more social and confident with your friends. You’re sweet to Laurel, who loves to help you, and excited to see Sidney and Tommy whenever we see them. You’re a little more shy with Asha and baby Nina, but you don’t see as much of them as you do the others.
The last month was a little crazy. Your other Mommy was away for 12 days, working at the Super Bowl. About half the mornings that she was gone, you looked for “This Mommy” (as you now call her) or asked if we could “wake up This Mommy?” Two or three times, your next request was to look for Grandma, who visited for the first few days that This Mommy was gone.
The presence of choo-choos distracted you slightly from her homecoming, but you’ve been even more loving and affectionate with her since she’s been back.
Tonight, when she came into the room at bedtime, you lost interest in me completely. This Mommy played “baseball” with you, with your duck coaster and no bat, and read you the Firetruck book and the Baby book. I got to refill your water and put the choo-choos in bed.
Speaking of bed, I’m afraid to mention this for fear of jinxing it, but I can’t help myself. You’ve slept past 7 am for the last two mornings! Have we reached the shangri-la of toddlerhood, the alleged reliable long nights of sleep? I’m pretty sure you’ve never slept for 11 hours in a row before, or at least not more than a tiny handful of times.
(To be fully honest, you did wake up around 5 yesterday to announce, “Mommy? Diaper wet. Diaper sooooooo wet.” But you dozed back off and so did I. You were telling the truth, and as good potty training parents, we should probably jump on those cues, but this first trimester of pregnancy is kicking my ass. All I want to do is sleep, and almost half the time, I go to bed right after you do and I sleep until you wake up.)
Anyway, my sweet boy, I am loving this age, and find it amazing to realize that I love you more and more every day. I never imagined that would be possible. I know that This Mommy feels the same way.
Love,
That Mommy
