Liza: Reaches up and scratches her head. What’s that in my hair? Feels around experimentally. Is that a bandaid?

Jill: Turns, then gets up and comes to look. Starts laughing hysterically. That’s motherhood in a nutshell!

They begin attempting to disentangle the bandaid from Liza’s hair.

Liza: Wait!

Jill: You want me to take a picture?

They both giggle uncontrollably. Jill takes a picture, then a second picture. While Liza looks at the picture, Jill returns to her computer.

Liza: Mommy? I still want you to take the bandaid out of my hair.

They both resume laughing, hard. Approximately two minutes later, Jill successfully frees the bandaid from Liza’s hair.

Jill: Yup. Motherhood in a nutshell. It feels good to laugh, though, doesn’t it?

Motherhood, In a Nutshell

Well, not right now. Tomorrow (Tuesday) at 7 pm EDT.

The Atlanta Dream will be playing the Phoenix Mercury on ESPN2 — and Jill will be sitting in the first row, right behind the Phoenix Mercury coaches!

On TV, it’ll probably look a lot like this, only maybe with not quite as much of a close-up.

Jill and the Lynx

Last night, as part of the Big Birthday Summer Tour, Jill and I went to see Joan Jett and REO Speedwagon. They were playing at an outdoor venue, Chastain Park, which is simply a unique and extremely Southern institution.

Unlike any other outdoor venue I’ve ever been for a concert, there are no covered seats: the entire amphitheater is under the open sky. I suspect this might have something to do with historic segregationist/integration policies, ie, “where there’s a roof, there’s segregation.” But I haven’t attempted to do any research on that theory.

That’s not what makes Chastain so odd.

Many of the events, including last night’s rock concert, are “table” service. That means that instead of just rows and rows of chairs, the full floor “plaza” seating area is set with tables of six, and many of the tiers of bench seats are also set up for tables of six.

People don’t just get a pitcher of beer and hang out around the table with their friends. It’s more like a dinner party with live music.
Garrison Keillor became so annoyed with the Chastain crowd a couple of years ago that he has sworn he will never play there again.

We were in “box seats” — 3 rows of folding chairs around the floor level, in the first two chairs at stage right.

At the two tables immediately in front of us, one was a group of drunken 50-something guys who went through a case or two of beer and a few bottles of wine. But the other was more representative of the surreal Chastain experience:

3 couples, also 40-something to 50-something. A rose tablecloth, fresh roses in a centerpiece, candles, glass wine glasses, real silver silverware, an elegant meal. Many bottles of wine. The obvious hostess was dressed immaculately and had her hair Done.

And all of them were singing along enthusiastically. Granted, none of them got into it as much as the drunk guy in front of us got into Joan Jett’s song “Fetish” but hey….

And that elegant table? THAT is how Atlanta does Chastain. Most of the plaza tables and many of the other tables we passed were also elegantly appointed. Almost everyone brings a wheeled cooler, no matter where they sit.

Other notable surreal or amusing concert observations:

  • Drunk woman in a purple dress, who had to be warned a couple of times by security to get down off of her chair and not wave around her full wineglass.
  • Extremely diligent security guards stopping very flirtatious women from crowding the stage in front of the front row of tables.
  • Three separate couples stood in the plaza level for most of the show. All of them stood in that cosy affectionate way where the taller person hugs the smaller person from behind, and if you’re feeling the music, there can be some suggestive swaying. The couple in the exact center of the plaza level, a lesbian couple, took that to a whole other level. At one point, I wondered if the woman in front was having an orgasm. Now I have nothing against Public Displays of Affection, but I do think there’s a line, especially at a venue with a fair number of families present. And these were adult women, not teenagers.

On the whole, however, it was a blast. Both Joan Jett and REO Speedwagon had great energy onstage. The pouring rain stopped just after the concert was scheduled to start, so we didn’t get drenched. And if we make it to another table event at Chastain, we’ll know to bring a tablecloth and cooler full of the good china.

Seriously, I almost feel like Noah is reverting to newbornhood.

Yesterday when I picked him up from day care, he sobbed, threw himself on the ground, and didn’t want to leave. He calmed down in the face of bribery, provided kindly (to me) by another toddler parent — but then when the bribe cookies ran out, he went right back to hysteria.

I’m glad he likes it, but I could really deal with less crying.

This morning, Noah cried hysterically after waking up, demanding his breakfast instantly. But then refusing to let me change his overnight diaper — to the point of hitting me and earning an (even more hysterical) time out. Then again about going to day care. He didn’t stop crying until we were half-way there.

This afternoon, he cried about leaving again. So much that I had to pick him up, carry him to the car, and wrestle him into the car seat. He continued sobbing that he wanted to go to “Miss Shirley’s house” until we were about 6 blocks from home. Then he just whimpered it until we were inside the house and he got distracted by his train table.

More crying at bedtime, and again and again after bedtime.
Enough. Already. Please.

I had my regular prenatal appointment on Wednesday, and am now in the phase of being pregnant where you have to go in for prenatal visits every 2 weeks. This baby’s estimated due date is 10 weeks and 5 days from now.

I promise, I won’t get graphic in this post where I talk about whether to try to have Esmerelda Freugenspiegel by scheduled c-section or traditional delivery.

But if you would rather not go through my thought process about matters obstetrical — or you suspect that I would rather you not go through that thought process with me — then I invite you not to click through to the rest of this post.

Continue reading »

I hope you had fun on your birthday, Grandma!

Sunglasses!

I posted about how much Esmerelda Freugenspeigel and I like donuts, but not the iconic donuts of the South, over on Deep South Moms.

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