Following endless repetition of “Like a dog, like a dog, like a dog, like a dog, like a dog!” replete with jumping, leaping, spinning and flinging random toys shortly before bedtime:

“Noah, would you like to tell us a story?”

“Yes!”

There was a dog who went up a mountain. The dog’s name was It-Boo. It-Boo went up the mountain and he saw a kitten.

(What was the kitten’s name?)

It-Boo! It-Boo the kitten and It-Boo the dog played and they found a rabbit.

(What was the rabbit’s name?)

It-Boo the rabbit! It-Boo the rabbit and It-Boo the kitten and It-Boo the dog.

At this point, your narrator flings a toy across the room, and then sinks into the universal toddler playing a frog position.

I got to jump like a froggy!

(Is there a froggy on the mountain?)

Yes! Froggy and dog and kitten and rabbit and dog!

(What’s the froggy’s name?)

It-Boo the froggy!

Narrator flings himself at “baby sister” inside That Mommy’s belly.

(Does the froggy have a baby sister?)

Yes!

(What’s the baby sister’s name?)

It-Boo the baby sister froggy! He green. All the animals up on the mountain. I need another animal up on the mountain. A sheep!

Narrator flings a stuffed dinosaur across the room.

Dinosaur on the mountain! Two dinosaurs!

(What are the dinosaurs names?)

It-Boo! The animals play on the mountain and go climb on That Mommy’s lap. Dinosaur roaring at the animals!

Blue dinosaur bounds up the lap.

Roar! I want to eat you other animals in you lap!

My blog was temporarily eaten by evil blog fairies. Or maybe something happened in a terrible fit of blogtaneous blogbustion. Email from my host provider also apparently looks like spam. In any event, 2 phone calls to tech support, several comments from you my readers, and somewhere between 24 and 48 hours later, I’m back, hopefully safe and sound.

I am happy to report that significant progress happened this weekend. From the must do list, I cleaned out space for the bassinet, found and cleaned the bassinet, and put it together where it belongs until Esmerelda Freugenspeigel outgrows it. I also found the abdominal band support doohickey and washed it.

From the need to do list, I packed 6 boxes of books we’re keeping but that I can live without for at least 6 months, and 4 smaller boxes of books to donate. One went to the book drive at the Dream game yesterday, one will be going to Jen, and two are getting posted to freecycle.

It occurs to me, beloved readers, that while a lot of you who know us in real life know why book packing is on the need to do list, most of you probably don’t think of that as a critical pre-baby activity.

We’ve decided to move.

Moving closer to family has been on our list of things we’d like to do for awhile now. It zipped up the list in the first few months after Noah was born, and we had some vague intentions around getting serious about it during 2009.

And then the layoff happened.

As I contemplated looking for a new job here, two things became even more clear to me. First, the idea of committing myself to living and working here for a minimum of 2-3 more years gave me an upset stomach. And second, I’d need to get another really good job here for us to afford our mortgage.

Certainly there are people and things we will miss very much. But the idea of being close to Grandma and Grandpa and some of the extended family holds a lot of appeal. Many of the friends I have in Milwaukee have been friends for 20 years or more. Even for Jill, starting over there isn’t quite as awful as the idea of starting over somewhere else, although the idea of starting over at all is seriously stressful to her.

So the plan is this:

* Work on getting the house ready to go on the market
* Have Esmerelda Freugenspeigel
* Jill adopts Esmerelda Freugenspeigel
* Sell house
* Semi-simultaneously, look for work in Milwaukee/see if Jill’s job will transfer
* Move to Milwaukee

Ideally, all of this happens in 2008, before my severance package runs out.

But I was talking about this weekend.

Saturday, both of us worked like crazy. Unfortunately, the main areas where we worked now have that horrible look where you’re packing and you know you’ve made huge progress, but right now it looks more chaotic and disorganized than ever.

Sunday, Jill took Noah to the playground to wear him out in the morning, while I cleaned and tidied. In the afternoon, Noah and I napped while Jill went to the Dream game on time. When Noah and I woke up, we joined Jill for the last quarter of the game, and the ice cream social & autograph session for season ticketholders after the game. Many entertaining pictures (and 2 video clips) are up on Flickr.

These are my favorites:

Jill Trash Talking with ex-UConn Player Ann Strother Noah Shooting a Free Throw with Jill's Assistance Jill and a Megaphone Wait in Line Waiting for the Autograph Session

At 4 am, Jill woke up violently ill.

Ironically, it was the weekend when I was 34 weeks pregnant with Noah that Jill spent the night at the Duke University Hospital ER. Guess how many weeks pregnant I will be tomorrow?

We are both hoping that this was a stress induced reaction. Last time they were not able to make a positive diagnosis, only that she was not having a heart attack after all.

At 6 am, Mr Loves Buttons on Electronic Devices’ alarm clock went off, loudly in between radio stations. Fortunately I talked him into going back to sleep.

But it’s now 6:52 am and time for me to get dressed and go to work.

This list is the ABSOLUTELY MUST do items. I am 99% sure that I’m too tired to list the NEED TO do, or SHOULD do items, much less the WANT TO do items.

  • Return all the consent forms to the doctor’s office.
  • Pre-register at the hospital.
  • Print the birth plan and talk it over with the midwife (even though I think that will be the only time anyone ever considers it, ever). Executive Summary, in case you are curious: Blood type = B+. Jill has health care power of attorney. I am needle-phobic. Please bring me my damn baby as soon as possible after you cut her out of my belly. Last time I had to wait an hour and I will freak out if you do that to me again. Ten minutes seems reasonable to me if both of us are healthy.
  • Pack a hospital bag. Include:
    • apple juice and snacks
    • dvds
    • Jill’s laptop
    • wireless doohickey
    • camera
    • phone
    • all the electronics chargers we need
    • button front pj top
    • maternity dress I am least sick of wearing by then
    • slippers
    • digger and dump truck for Noah, from me and baby sister
    • personal hygiene products
    • book even though I won’t be able to concentrate enough to read
    • nursing pillow (find that and clean it, too)
    • my pillow (find colorful pillowcase)
    • 2 cute take-home outfit options for the baby
    • lightweight baby blanket
  • Buy some of those gel soother pads.
  • Finish organizing our room so that the bassinet will fit next to my side of the bed.
  • Get the bassinet out of the garage and clean it.
  • Find the wide elastic abdominal surgery support band thingy that helped me be able to get out of bed when I got home from the hospital last time.
  • Submit all of the short term disability paperwork that can be submitted before the baby is delivered. Pack the stuff that has to be signed by doctors so they can sign it right away. Give it to the doctor or midwife before leaving the hospital. (Ok, technically that last is after EF arrives, but before she comes home.)
  • Clean baby carseat.
  • Make sure we have a plan for where carseats will be installed in both cars, and that they fit as anticipated.

I had the latest in the series of prenatal appointments today, and the last one with my very favorite of the midwives in my practice.

Everyone is still delighted with my blood pressure and weight gain, and my feet and ankles aren’t appreciably swollen. (Maybe at the end of a weekend day spent running around with/after Noah.) I hereby predict that my total weight gain for this pregnancy will be 27-29 lbs, contrasted with the ~50 I gained with Noah.

Esmerelda Freugenspeigel’s heartbeat is good, she is definitely head down, and is (unsurprisingly) measuring on the larger side of the normal range.

Translation for my fellow data geeks: Today I am 33w2d pregnant, with a fundal height measurement of just over 34cm.

Further translation for other people: fundal height is the distance from pubic bone to the top of the uterus. In one of those beautiful symmetries found in nature, after an average sized woman is 20 weeks pregnant with a single baby, her average fundal height in centimeters is equal to the number of weeks she is pregnant. The normal range is +/- 2cm. So Esmerelda and I are medium high on the bell curve. Noah was closer to the middle of the bell curve.

Then we had a great conversation about my getting the layoff news, and how my health/recovery, Esmerelda’s health, my termination date, my health insurance, short term disability insurance, insurance coverage for the baby, COBRA, hospital policies related to scheduled c-sections, etc all effect each other and our health care decisionmaking.

I don’t think I *can* explain how all the variables interact, but my conclusion at the end of that conversation plus a similarly complex discussion with the (wonderful) employee benefits person at work have led us towards bumping the scheduled c-section forward to the Friday before Labor Day, rather than the Tuesday after.

I can honestly say, this was the best single medical appointment I’ve ever had. I felt so supported, acknowledged, and cared for as a whole person that I didn’t want to leave.

Here’s what I don’t understand: How is it that one person can swing so radically from cooperative to possessed to charming to hitting to sobbing to kissing to screaming to singing in the span of say, 90 seconds?

And then do it again, 5 minutes later?

Also? Why is it so horrible to brush your teeth?

What can possibly be interesting about the road builder trucks book the 5th time we read it in half an hour?

This is not a question about toddlers per se, but I also wonder if someone could explain to me why the little potty we bought appears to be designed such that no little boy could possibly avoid peeing on the seat, while sitting on it? Can someone recommend one that is better designed for a large sized little boy?

(Guess who got up this morning and announced that he wanted to go potty on the potty??? And that he wanted to wear big boy underwear! And at dinner, when asked, agreed that yes, he would like to use the potty all the time!)

Noah and I had a wonderful trip to Milwaukee. He really connected with Grandma and Grandpa, and enjoyed meeting the myriad of extended family cousins and family friends near his age.

Highlights:

  • Day One: Noah “gardening” with Grandma and transforming himself into a mud Golem. Hopefully Grandma will email pictures next week.
  • Patrick’s Birthday: It was great to see so many of my “longest knowing” friends for such a happy occasion.
  • The Wedding: Sure, Noah only made it through maybe half the service, but everyone looked lovely. Plus, how can you not love the whole notion of a cousin marrying someone whose last name is already a family name? (But is no relation — as the Father of the Bride observed, “This isn’t Arkansas!”)
  • The Wedding Reception: Best. Chocolate. Chip. Cookies. Ever.
  • Brunch: With dear family friends and no toddler. And delicious banana blueberry pancakes.
  • Toddler Playmates: Noah had a great time and did a really good job sharing with Caleb and Sam. Except for one regrettable incident in which Noah snagged an orange toy shovel and fled the scene at top speed, much to Caleb’s severe displeasure. Comically, we’re still not sure what Noah thought of his first experience with identical twins — after they left, he complained about “that guy” reading his dinosaur book.
  • Getting Spoiled: Grandma had a cereal treat waiting in the car, an adorable soft triceratops waiting at home, and was persuaded to add 3 small “monster” cars, and a bag of plastic dinosaurs to the toy collection over the weekend.
  • Getting Surprised: This is where I expose what a mean Mommy I am. On 2 occasions over the weekend, Noah scared the crap out of himself and I count one of those times as the funniest moment of the entire trip.
    • The second scary surprise was the night Noah experimented with the ceiling fan control. It’s on one of those gradual switches, so if you push it up a little bit, the fan goes on slowly. If you push it up all the way, it sounds like a helicopter is landing. Guess what Noah tried — after locking himself in the room, of course! And then he screamed hysterically until a minute or two after I popped the lock and turned it off.
    • The absolute funniest moment of the trip was on the first night. The guest room Noah stayed in had a stereo in it. A stereo filled with enticing knobs and buttons. All of a sudden, the house filled with classical music, playing at volume 11.

      At first, we thought it was part of the soundtrack of the indie movie Grandpa was watching. But then the screams didn’t make sense. When we opened the door, it was so loud that I had to yell “just unplug it!” at full volume to Grandma, while peeling a completely undone toddler off of my head.

      At least Noah didn’t figure out how to lock the door from the inside until the next day.

This wasn’t a highlight, so it doesn’t get to be on the bulleted list, but Esmerelda Freugenspeigel is definitely growing. I am officially ginormous, it has become hard to move quickly or bend over, and I have had hella round ligament pain the last few days. Mostly over the left hip, where we think she’s throwing punches.

Incidentally, we’re about 99% sure we’re going to go ahead with the scheduled c/s as planned, Tuesday 9/2. The financial incentive of two extra weeks of short term disability insurance is all the more important now.

There are only two things I’m thinking about right now: how’s the baby, and how the hell am I going to get from here to wherever it is that I’m going next?

Both of those come with a lot of variables, like watching the wiggling of my belly, and worrying about how this whole layoff thing is going to affect Jill and Noah. But there’s not really anything useful or productive to say about those things yet.

I did buy a notebook with 6 color coded sections, in which I’m planning to record to-do lists for all of these chaotic areas of life, and where I’m going to try to do some imagining about what’s next.

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