The structure of this meme is the first sentence of the first post of each month for the year. Somehow this one misses my layoff, which seems odd.
January: Apparently, Noah’s New Year’s Resolution was to stop sleeping.

February: I’m a longtime election geek.

March: Dear Sick, Would you please get the hell out of here?

April: We have a slot at our church day care (NAEYC accredited) starting 5/19.

May: Yesterday I had my regularly scheduled monthly prenatal appointment, with the artist known in my birth story posts as Calming Older Midwife.

June: Jill took Noah to a car club cruise-in on Saturday, giving me almost 6 glorious hours on my own.
July: Jill was recognizable on TV during the Dream game, and she had a really good time.
August: The human body has some serious design flaws.
September: As you heard, our laptop and the hospital wifi refused to play nicely with one another.
October: Well, the house is officially on the market.
November: On Thursday, you turned two months old.
December: Hi Blog! Hi readers! I’ve missed you!

Dear Josie,

You turned 4 months old today.

Of the entire family, I think you are handling the chaos the best. Thank God that stranger anxiety hasn’t hit you yet. You happily grin and coo at all the new faces you’ve encountered this month, from old friends of your mommies’, to relatives, to day care providers, to airline personnel and fellow passengers.

The best thing that happened in the last month is that we finalized your legal adoption. You now have two legally recongized parents, forever and irrevokably.

We could not be more thrilled. Unfortunately, by picture taking time, you were a little hungry and tired, so you don’t look all that excited about it.

You’ve become a social delight this month, not just smiling, but laughing and “chatting” with cute conversational babble while sitting up and looking at other people. You haven’t decided to roll over yet, but you like sitting up and being part of the action. We big people inevitibly find this charming, and you could probably get some of your friends and relatives to buy you a pony, just for being so cute and sweet. Even your big brother thinks you are “soooooo cute!”

At the moment, you’ve just begun crying, so I need to end this and go pick you up.

I love you.

That Mommy
The only thing that makes you cranky seems to be the food situation at day care. You are not thrilled by this business of drinking from a bottle, and some days, you reject it almost entirely.

I could write a sad and mopey post about how Jill left yesterday and we all miss her and I hate this business about living apart. And I could tell stories about how Noah woke up this morning and immediately went running through the house calling “This Mommy! This Mommy!”

But it sucks enough without reliving it for the Internet to share.

Instead, I’m going to have a bitch moment and a “yay me!” moment.

First, the bitch moment: My plan today was to get my car registered and get a new driver’s license, go grocery shopping, and deal with computer/network issues. Then if I had time before I have to pick up the kids, I could also blog.

The Wisconsin DMV web site has a great deal of information on it, none of which can be found associated with any other piece of necessary information. It looks nice and there are lots of hyperlinks, but as far as actual functionality is concerned, I give it a D+.

I tried first to get the emissions test done, since in Georgia, you have to do that first, and in Wisconsin, there’s no information available about what you have to do first.

Nope. The guy managing the line told me that I needed to go inside to get my paperwork. So much for benefiting from the nice short line. Inside, the line was also short, but slow. The woman disuaded me from getting the emissions test done, as it would be free after I got the car registered in Wisconsin. (Huh?) But she couldn’t do the registration part.

(Amusingly, the web site asserts that you can get a “driver license” with an out-of-state license online. Fortunately, I assumed that was only included in the “Online services – save yourself a trip” section as a joke.)

The site is also confusingly organized, such that I thought the downtown office was a full-service DMV center, when it actually only deals with drivers licensing, and even that, not if you have to take the test.

Imagine my surprise when I arrived and figured out that I could only get the driver’s license there, not the vehicle registration. However, given that it took more than an hour to get from the person with line ticket number 4 to line ticket number 19, me, I think it is safe to say they could not handle additional work. Incidentally, 4 of the people between #4 and #19 had given up and left, so they only actually spoke with 10 customers while I was waiting.

Look for a future post here, outlining what you need to do and in what order, if you are moving to Wisconsin with your car. After I figure it out.

On the “yay me!” front, I am feeling like Ms Smart Shopper. Last week, I joined the local food coop. I love food coops, and the big local one here has a large branch in the best local grocery shopping area that I’ve found so far.

One of the member benefits they gave me was a book of “try this for free” coupons. When I looked at the coupons on Saturday, I noticed that they all expire on 12/31/2008. So I went to spend them today.

Total value: $49.87, including Seventh Generation all purpose cleaner, Cascadian Farms frozen vegetable of my choice, Traditional Medicinals box o tea, quart o soy milk, 2 different non-dairy fake ice cream products, and a number of other items. Some I would have bought anyway, some I would have bought a cheaper substitute, and some I would probably not have otherwise purchased. Still, for $0.62, I am well satisfied. (That’s the tax, which I still had to pay.)

My real total was $3.50 higher, since I did also buy a gallon of skim milk. But either way, that’s thirteen cents shy of 2 years worth of ownership fees, already saved. And I saved about $11 in owner sale pricing on my first trip. It may not be as cheap as the big box food store, but since it already paid for itself, I’m very satisfied.

This year was such an emotional roller coaster. I need 2009 to be quieter. More like the Small World ride — sweet, educational, fun for all ages. — than like a huge scary roller coaster.
On the plus side:

  • Baby Josie, born healthy, still healthy
  • Baby Josie gets 2 legal parents
  • Noah thriving, in spite of a lot of challenges
  • House sold, in spite of the insane market
  • Good severance package
  • Living conveniently to grandparents, extended family, and long-term friends

On the negative side:

  • Losing my job
  • Moving 800+ miles with an infant and an almost-3
  • Leaving our wonderful church and day-care communities
  • Renting (although the place is very nice)
  • 2 feet of snow in our first month of living in Milwaukee
  • Single parenthood, even though only temporary

In 2009, here’s what I’m hoping for:

I want my family to thrive in 2009. I want our careers to thrive — for both of us to be working in jobs we love and can imagine being in for 10+ years. I want our health to thrive. I turn 40 this year, and I want to turn 40 with a BMI in the normal range, and for the whole family to be active and healthy. I want our relationships to thrive — regular dates, time with friends, and time with family — both here and back east.

February is going to be a big month here. Jill will be here permanently 2/3, Noah turns 3 on 2/10, and our 6 year wedding anniversary is 2/22. After that, I want peace and uneventfulness through the spring. Maybe the whole entire year.

I’m not going to post a big “aaaaiiieeeee” post about this single parent thing here, but I did write one. It should be up at 5 am PST Sunday at the Deep South Moms blog. (Do you think they’re going to make me stop writing there now that I live in the frozen tundra instead?)

The BEST news this week is that Josie now has 2 legal parents! Flickr and I are fighting, and working it out is at least 2 months down the priority list, so you’ll have to look at a handful of pics that I put up on Facebook.

I am already sick of the snow. Yesterday, we got a FOOT. (Noah likes it.) The path from the front to the back of my house has drifts that are hip deep, the steps down to the alley are only visible because there’s a rail, and they end in a 5 foot deep pile from my digging out my car. I think I’ve officially given up on using the alley at all until…April? (I haven’t quite sorted out how I’m going to deal with the trash.) It is snowing again as I write this, and another storm is expected before Christmas.

The hardest part is figuring out how to do things like shovel and dig out my car.

So far, I’ve been leaving the kids in the house while I go out and deal with the snow. But that feels strange and irresponsible. And every time I come back in, Noah tells me that he was scared. Usually, he also tells me that Baby Josie cried and cried, and he yelled for me but I didn’t come. And then my heart breaks.

The only positive I’ve found about this so far is that I’ve gotten a lot of exercise, and I’ve lost 7 lbs since leaving Atlanta. Thank God for the village! Peter helped shovel twice, the landlord dealt with most of the horrible foot of snow, and Patrick offered to help if I decide to invest in a snowblower. Which I am very seriously considering.

But enough with the bitching. It was a great week, full of chaos and excitement, seeing friends, getting ready for Christmas, and I am feeling like the kids are doing very well.

Josie has started to laugh, which is such a fun milestone! I put her up on my shoulders in the hotel, and she laughed and laughed as we looked in the mirror. Today, she laughed and giggled as I gave her kisses, pretended to eat her nose, and blew a raspberry on her belly.

Ok, one last bitch. How is it that Time Warner Cable doesn’t offer the PBS Sprout channel? Or if they do, I can’t find it and believe me, I’ve looked. No Thomas. No Roary the Racing Car. No Bob the Builder. TWC! What’s wrong with you? Please ask your business development people to work out a deal with PBS IMMEDIATELY.

Dear Noah,

Yesterday you were two years and ten months old.

You already like telling people that you are 3, and get very upset when people try to correct you. Your mommy and her dear friend Reno round up too, but we didn’t realize that it started so young.

This has been a really hard month for you. Harder even than last June, when you went to your 4th day care center or classroom in 2 months. Last month, except for having a lot of your toys exiled into storage, your life was pretty much the same as it has been since Josie was born.

Since then, we spent 2 nights in hotels, almost 2 weeks at Grandma & Grandpa’s house, and now a week in our new house. You’ve also spent day time with Mr. Eric, Aunt Susie, “Aunt” Kirsten, Grandma, and of course, That Mommy. We haven’t gotten into much of a routine yet, and it has been way too cold to play outside.

I keep requiring you to wear 2 shirts at the same time, and you’ve been furious about it. Last night was also the first night that you didn’t fight wearing your “bathrobe”/zip up blanket over your pjs.

We’ve also all been sick. We’ve had coughs, stuffy noses, and problematic pooping.

You miss This Mommy a lot. Usually you express it by telling me that Baby Josie misses her, or by asking where she is. But you’ve gotten a little angry with her too — when she calls and asks to talk with you, you shout, “No!” It makes us sad, but we understand that you need the room to cope with these changes your own way.

You also miss school. You’ve asked about it a few times, in particular about what your friends Jack and Avery are doing, and about when you can go back. You don’t like the answer that your old school is too far away.
You’ve expressed your stress and frustration with a lot of tantrums, throwing things, hitting and kicking. But also with a lot of cuddling and snuggling.

And you’ve had a great time with your new friends Andy & Freddy! You and Andy got off to a little bit of a rough start, with Andy feeling fiercely defensive of his cool cars and other toys, and with you expressing your frustration with too much pushing and hitting. But the two of you have worked it out, and seem to have a great time together.

I love watching you and Andy together. Although you don’t actually look that much alike, you are close to the same size and have similar coloring. Freddy is so sweet to you and Josie, wanting to help and make sure that you’re both having fun. I think you enjoy having a Big Kid around too.

I hope to have you — and me, and Josie — into a good routine over the next couple of weeks. That should help all of us feel more comfortable and settled into our new house and life.

We love you. We love you very, very much.

Hi Blog! Hi readers! I’ve missed you!

Since the last time I was here, it’s been a wild ride.

FIRST, Noah, Josie, and I drove to Milwaukee from Atlanta. It wasn’t a bad drive, except for one serious meltdown in Indianapolis. Noah started throwing things while we were going 70 mph. And all the exits were in scary decrepit industrial areas. When I finally decided to stop no matter what at the next exit, it was Kessler Boulevard, and half a mile down the road, we spotted a Presbyterian church with a big parking lot — better still, it turned out that the church had a playground behind it. Thirty or 40 minutes later, Josie was fed, Noah had run off some steam, and we were all feeling better.

NEXT, we arrived at Grandma & Grandpa’s house, where we stayed for just shy of 2 weeks. Grandma & Grandpa had “baby boot camp” and were amazingly helpful.

DURING THAT TIME, I had a job interview, all of our household stuff was delivered and divided between our house and Grandparents’ basement, and everyone got terrible colds. Noah got to play in the snow for the first time. He had a blast, but has subsequently developed mixed feelings about it.

Noah has also developed a few other interesting preferences. He hates being forced to wear 2 shirts, and also pjs with a zip up wearable blanket on top. Unfortunately, no layers is not an option in winter in Wisconsin. He also has a new friend, Andy, with whom he clearly has the potential to become best frenemies. They are still learning to share, but they mostly entertain one another.

LAST FRIDAY, we moved into our new house. Right now, we’re at the marginally functional Rubick’s Cube state of unpacking. But we’re getting into a routine and settling into the new place.

SATURDAY, I spent the whole day away from Josie for the first time. It was at a continuing legal education thing I needed to do so I can work here. It was both interesting and rough. Today I’m doing it again, and I have 2 more full days after today. As much as I miss them, having a day where I can stand up, go to the bathroom, and eat something on my own time frame. No one is shrieking, I have changed no diapers, and I’m enjoying the lack of having the movie Cars playing in the background.

As much as moving has been hard on all of us, there have been some great moments already, and I know they’re going to build. Noah has now spent enough time with his Milwaukee Grandma that he isn’t shy with her, even at first. Grandpa is only a hair more intimidating. I’ve also had a great time hanging out with friends like Madelaine & Eric, Peter & Meredith, and with extended family — especially Aunt Susie and my cousin Kirsten.

Thank you, village!

Of course, even with all this amazing and wonderful help, I’ve figured out that what I really need is more help. I don’t know how stay at home moms manage! And I don’t know how single moms manage. I especially have no idea how an unemployed single mom is supposed to find a job — it just requires time and childcare, both on a predictable and regular basis.

So. Friday the kids and I are going to look at 2 day care centers in the neighborhood. One has immediate openings for both kids, M-W-F. The other will have openings in mid-January. I think that will give me the bandwidth to keep unpacking, to organize the pantry, etc. And it will give Noah somewhere to sing and dance and play games and wrestle and generally have more fun than I can provide. (Not that Eric is inexpert in any of these things! But Noah misses school, and I am a complete washout as far as singing and playing children’s music is concerned.)

Anyway, we are settling in, and I could not be happier to be getting online again.

And a GREAT BIG THANK YOU to the whole village.

© 2010 LizaWasHere Suffusion WordPress theme by Sayontan Sinha