Today, I would like to be acknowledged for the fact that I did not drop the children off at their respective schools and day cares, then drive to the bank, withdraw all of our remaining savings, and drive off somewhere far away in an attempt to start a new child-free life.
Which is not to say that there were no moments of fantasizing about it.
One of those moments was at 4 am, when Josie woke up, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, ready to play. She’d barely napped yesterday, 10 minutes here, 15 minutes there. Between church and hanging out at Freddy and Andy’s house, where cousin Antonia brought their new dog, it was just too exciting for such mundane activities as sleeping and eating. I thought maybe Josie would sleep better last night, and maybe she did. I was too tired to notice. Either way, she was wide awake at 4 am.
Another one of those moments was at around 6:20 am. Noah took a large drink of apple-cherry juice into his mouth, but instead of swallowing, simply left his mouth hanging open so that the juice flowed over his chin onto his shirt and pants, the table, and the floor.
A third moment of the fantasy came up at 7:35 am, when I announced that it was time to get ready to go to school. Noah dribbled the last drops of milk from his bowl to the table, then stuck his fingers into the drops of milk, and then wiped them off on the wall.
Possibly the biggest moment of the fantasy was on Saturday morning. We’d gone over to Grandma & Grandpa’s house to water their plants and take in their mail while they were out of town. Without getting into an inappropriate level of detail that would make Noah want to kill me when he becomes a teenager, let’s just say that Grandma should definitely ask her cleaning service to do an extra-disinfecting job on the kitchen floor next time. And I apologize for the pile of wet clothes and shoes I left in Grandma’s laundry room.
I seriously do not understand how you single moms do it. You amaze me. Also you parents with deployed spouses, or spouses who travel extensively for work. I am only 25% done with this current solo parenting run, and as much as I love Noah and Josie, I am crystal clear that I am not cut out to be their only parent.
Luckily, the multiple personality disorder that is 3 has a wonderfully sweet side too. Noah covered me with kisses at dropoff, before giving me our ritual push out the door and running in to listen to stories with his classmates.
Noah’s 3 years and 3 months letter will be tomorrow. I think.
I acknowledge you for all that!!!!!
Boy, do I know the “…went out for a ride and I never came back…” fantasy.
Can you recommend any discipline/behavior books for the threes? We’re having trouble, over at our house, with stopping when a parent says “stop,” and our toddlers have now darted into the street and down a short pier on the river without listening (or any fear), and I’m getting nervous….
Liza, I feel the same gratitude toward my husband. I’m glad he’s there to back me up. I also think about life without children and its good parts. But really, life is so rich with them in it. Though life is annoying too.
I just blogged about this: http://schreiberwriter.blogspot.com/2009/05/every-other-weekend.html
To your other reader: we play “freeze” so that when it comes to the street, we have an understanding of how to behave and what to do when it comes to “freeze.”
Your Two Year Old by Louise Bates-Ames is supposed to be good and there’s one for 3 and 4 year olds.
Hear, hear. I would not have a hair of sanity left if not for Dave. Single parents are superheroes.
Brian, you are welcome to come over and peruse our library any time.
The most entertaining, and oddly reassuring, so far, is “Your 3 Year Old: Friend or Enemy?” In a nutshell, the author recommends as much babysitting and day care as humanly possible, because our children at this age only go to war with emotionally invested opponents like their parents. Fair warning, the language of the book is DATED.
I really liked Alfie Kohn’s “Unconditional Parenting” but it would be a big stretch to say that we’ve managed to use it. In the cruel face of 3 year old hitting and kicking, we do resort to the brute force restraining method.
We also have Positive Discipline, which Jill read and liked, but which I haven’t lifted up yet.
Again late… you are acknowledged. It is so comforting to read your words.