Josie is, as has been observed, in an interesting hybrid phase of princess-passion and anything-my-big-brother-does passion. She describes “boy things” as “cool” and “girl things” as “pretty.” Some days my feminist heart and mind are sorely tried. Other days, I worry less. (At parent-teacher conferences, her teacher told a story of watching her and another child face off in a conflict and essentially take turns hitting one another, with neither child backing down OR crying. While she can’t keep hitting people, I’m glad she stands her ground.)
This is the background against which my own health, well-being, and body-image “stuff” now takes place.
On the one hand, modeling exercise and healthy eating is good for me and good for the kids.
On the other hand, modeling dieting, obsession with weight and personal appearance, not so much.
And of course, my “stuff” is still my stuff. There is no feminist or lesbian “get out of jail free” card for having been enculturated as an American woman, even if I can think critically about my reactions.
Seven weeks ago, I stepped on the scale and realized I was at my highest non-pregnant weight ever. (I count the first 6 weeks or so after the baby is born as still “pregnant weight.”)
I really, really didn’t like that feeling.
So I did two things that I’ve been thinking about doing since Noah was about 2 months old. First, I joined Weight Watchers online. My doctor, who is also one of my closest friends, has had great success getting to and maintaining a healthy weight through their program, and has been encouraging me as well. Plus they were having some sort of promotional deal where you got a bunch of time free in the online program. (Who has time to go to meetings? I do not.)
And last week, I pulled out the T-TAPP video that I bought on the passionate recommendation of Ask Moxie, maybe 5 years ago, again in the aftermath of my 50 lb weight gain pregnancy with Noah. I never did the video then; sleep won every time. But I’ve been doing the basic instructional video (just over 15 minutes) for a week.
This self-care thing seems to be working. I’m eating a ton of fruit and vegetables. In the first 6 weeks, I lost 8.5 lbs, which seems like a healthy rate. The exercise is making muscles all over my body hurt, but in that good, something is working here, way. I raced around with Josie on the playground on Saturday, and I definitely had more energy than I expected to have.
A month from today, I turn 42. There are no crazy weight loss goals for my birthday, but I am shooting for “42:42″ — a total loss of 42 lbs, to be completed and sustained during my 42nd year. That will bring me back down to my wedding weight, still well within the normal BMI range. And I can hit doing the exercise tape a total of 42 times by my 42nd birthday, if I keep it up every day until then.
Good for you Liza, teaching our kids to be healthy and taking care of ourselves is so so important and the hardest thing for moms to do. I am rooting for you. Do the kids do the video with you or is it just mommy time? Love the 42:42 idea. Do you have it posted where you can see it everyday?
Right now, I’m doing it as just-mommy time — in fact, at 4 am. I know I should work on having the kids see/participate, but I’m enjoying getting to focus instead of trying to make sure they are ok too.
Makes sense, it is healthy to have time alone and just focus on yourself. I think more of us should do that, it is so easy to get caught up in kids that you forget to care for yourself, not something I want to pass on to my kids.
Thanks, B! BTW, I forgot to mention that I like your idea about posting it where I can see it every day. I’m going to figure out a way to do that.
My daughter is five and a half, still heavily into the princesses — I keep thinking it has to end soon but it doesn’t. But you had some good points in your last post. They are not all bad. That Car Toons movie sounds horrible. We will steer clear.